Has to be said

Have you ever been with your dear husband with your children in tow behind you in a grocery store or a department store and you hear this sweet, feminine voice call out, "Well, hello (put your DH's name here)"? The voice belongs to an old schoolmate or co-worker.

I have and it happened to be the grocery store we always shopped in so it happened nearly every shopping day. Well, it made me angry because to this obnoxious woman, my children and I were invisible. Of course, as most DHs, mine was oblivious. After incident two I told him next time she does it, you are introducing your wife and your two children.

Well, come shopping day, I again hear that sickening, overly sweet voice holler out across the deli section. My blood starts to boil and I start counting. I look at Allen, his face has gone a shade of gray that isn't healthy. Nevertheless, he looks at the woman and smiles, dragging me and the kids along behind him and saying under his breath, "Be nice, she's just being friendly." Of course, all of us wives know she isn't!

I am seething, oh, did I mention that I tend to be a little jealous, I don't like women flirting with my husband. Anyway, here we are standing in front of this woman who I don't fail to notice is older than I am (so is my husband), this woman is an ex-classmate. I smile and try to be friendly. As we walk away, while I'm wondering if this woman is as ugly as I think she is, my youngest daughter pipes up and says, "Momma, that lady looks like Miss Piggy."

I squeeze her hand in appreciation, but tell her we really shouldn't say things like that about other people, but I just can't erase the smile on my face.

This happened years ago, but I never quite convinced my husband that this woman has a crush on him that won't stop. He tells me I'm crazy and I find another store to shop in.

Well, today, I get a call from my dear husband and he tells me that he's been in class all day. I ask him how it went and he tells me about it and then casually asks if I remember dear Debby. I say, you mean Miss Piggy? And he kind of laughs, but he sounds a little nervous. I ask him what's wrong and he says she is now working where he does and she was in the class with him today.

All I say is, "Oh?" The blood is starting to simmer here, but I'm cautious, I want to hear the rest of the story. He starts in, yes she sat one person away from me. Again, I say, "Oh?", then I slip in, "Who sat down first?"
He answers that her stuff was on the table, but no one was sitting there when he sat down. So far he's safe!

He continues by telling me that she kept talking to him and then asked if he remembered the candle he made for her in the eleventh grade to which he answers, "No". She tells him that she kept it until just a few years ago when she finally let her granddaughter burn it.

"She freaks me out," he says. "I don't remember any stupid candle and I now realize you were right, this woman likes me or something because she won't leave me alone through the entire class and she's mooned over that stupid candle that I think someone else must have given her. I'm just praying I don't ever see her at work again. I don't want to talk to her."

The blood is cooling off and I tell him it will be okay. I know that now he will never speak to her again if at all possible and I know she better not speak to him with me around or I know where she'll find that candle the next time she's looking for it!