Winding Down

We’ve been on the road for nearly five years. We’ve enjoyed the heck out of it and made many friends along the way. Currently, we’re at Suwannee River State Park. It’s beautiful here. This park represents, to me, at least, what the real Florida is all about; swift rivers filled with old gray cypress trees, live oaks hanging across the water their limbs laden with Spanish moss, a mist of fog on an early autumn morning sitting just above the river, a beautiful blue heron just visible on the other side hunting his breakfast along the river’s edge, miscellaneous birds singing and calling in the tree tops. Add the grunt of a gator, and the croak of a frog and it’s a chorus that means home to me. 

We’ve been gone from Florida for over two years. We’ve spent time in Georgia, Texas, Colorado, Utah and Arizona. If you want more details about out travels, please checkout my other blog, Across America in 36 Feet We’ve work camped this entire time with very little time off. I think it’s time for a rest. Most people that know us can’t understand that. They see, looking from the outside in, that we are on permanent vacation. That’s not the case. We work hard. We play hard too! 

We have learned that we like snow after spending two years in the Colorado winters. Florida is becoming too populated so we’re going to look for property out of Florida. But then there’s that whole feeling of home. Florida could end up being the only place that provides that comfort! I guess time will tell.

A Tribute to Max-An Incredible Friend!

 

This is Max. He was quite a character. For eight years, he was my very best furry friend. When we arrived back home after our stay in Colorado, Max suddenly became very ill. I thought it was a urinary tract infection. He’d had them twice before, but I had always been able to tell something was wrong before he actually got sick from it. 

I had noticed that he wasn’t quite his normal, chipper self earlier in the day, but we all have off days and it didn’t seem serious. But that night, Max had an accident and wet our bed. He woke me up climbing on top of me. I realized the end of the bed was very wet and I could see that Max was very upset. We cleaned everything up. Got Max settled and called the vet first thing the next morning. 

I was cheerful, Max seemed okay, I thought well we’ll get him checked out and go home with an antibiotic. I was so wrong. The vet ran tests, came back and told me Max had Immune Mediated Hemolytic Anemia. What? I’d never heard of it and I’ve had many animals. His blood counts were very very low but there was a glimmer of good news, his body was still making new red blood cells. I walked out of the office very hopeful with a whole lot of pharmaceuticals. I was determined to make my boy better. She wanted to see him in three days. I told the tech on the way out that Max was going to be fine. He was only eight. The look of sadness on her face and the slight shake of her head told a different story, but I tried to remain positive.

I took my boy home and I cried and held him a lot. He tried so hard and that in itself was heart wrenching. He kept licking my face like he was telling me he was sorry for making me so sad. I prayed and cried some more, but Maxie did not get better. I took him back to the vet a day early and his blood counts were even worse, which seemed impossible. The vet said we could try transfusions, which I’d already read about. They were not often successful and the dog usually had to receive repeated, multiple transfusions.  I wasn’t willing to put Max through that for many reasons, other than the technician shaking her head and telling me it wouldn’t work. 

The vet told us we could take him home to say goodbye for a couple of more hours. He wasn’t in pain, just very weak. Our daughters wanted to see him too. So we all spent several hours crying, spoiling and loving Max. As weak as he was, he still liked treats. 

To lose a dog that has become your best friend, almost like a furry soulmate is devastating. My heart remains broken. It is, of course, a different loss than losing a human family member, but the hurt and the missing them is just as painful. 

For awhile, I felt guilty for feeling so grief-stricken over Max. I cried myself to sleep for many nights because his sweet head was not perched on my leg and is warm heavy body wasn’t pressed against my side. It had been there for eight years. People would look at me weird and tell me he was just a dog. 

They were right, he was a dog. A dog that shared every moment of his life with me. A dog that smiled at me, was goofy with me, cried with me, grieved with me, listened to every worry, fear and story tirelessly  and without judgement. We played, exercised, sat in the snow, watched the rain out the window waiting on my husband to get home together; we did everything together. If I’d break down in tears missing my dad or my mom, his sweet little face would be poked into mine and his gentle little head would sit on my shoulder when I pulled him in for a hug. 

He wagged his tail every time I spoke and when he heard his name, he would sit up to see where we were going or what we were eating. If I was out of his sight for just two seconds, I got the same butt wiggly excitement when I returned as when I’d been gone for hours. If I was grouchy or short, he didn’t care, I’d feel his soft little tongue on my arm or a wet poke of his nose as if to say that nothing can be too bad cause I’m here with you. And it never was!

His soulful, brown eyes were always focused on me, even if it was just one that peeped open from his nap. He was always ready to play, go for a walk, sit in my lap, share my dinner. Every evening when he decided I’d spent enough time not paying him attention, I’d get his favorite blue doggy toy rubbed down my arm or tossed into my lap because he decided it was time to play fetch or tug of war. 

He was even polite about asking to go outside. He’d position himself near one of us and he’d try very hard to make eye contact. If we failed to notice him, he’d poke or lick a leg or an arm gently and then walk to the door. He was always a good boy, he never chewed on much and he was easy to housebreak. Really Max never did anything but make all of us very happy.

Max was just a dog but so much more. If people could take a lesson from dogs, this world would be a better place. Maxie was my angel, my joy, my heart song. He taught me that love is an endless commodity. No matter how much love we give away, we always have more to give. He taught me how to overcome grief, because it’s alway okay to love again. The love you give to a new animal or person can never take away the love you gave to another person or animal. God has given us love without end.

I found this poem by an unknown author that says it better than I ever could, “It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life, gifts me a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.”

I’m back again!

 Somehow, it got to be 2021! I’ve been writing but obviously not here! I was working on another blog with my daughter and son-in-law, Across America in 36 Feet (AcrossAmericaIn36Feet.com). Which reminds me, I need to work there as well as here! 

Life keeps interrupting my dedication to writing. Sometimes in sad ways, but mostly in good ways. My hubby retired in 2017. We signed up for Obamacare, sold our house and hit the road in a 36 foot diesel pusher. That explains the other blog name! Our daughter and son-in-law also decided to retire and join us in their own 36 foot diesel pusher! You can read more about our adventures there.

My mom was doing well when we got on the road. Cancer stayed away for over five years. She got sick again in 2019 and passed in 2020. We were in Colorado, but my daughter and I made the trip home to be with her twice. We stayed for a month the first time and spent Christmas and New Years with her. While we were on the way back to visit her a few months later, she went into hospice care. We brought her home and expected to have at least several more months to be with her, but she declined very rapidly and we only had six more weeks with her. I think she was tired and gave up when she knew we were with her. 

It’s hard when both your parents are no longer here. I miss their guidance and counsel. I have no one left from my immediate family since my brother passed when he was only 22. I am, however, very blessed to have my wonderful daughters and husband. I have much to be thankful for and remind myself of that every day. 

We’ve had a wonderful four years in our coach. We work camp so that we can afford to travel, but we’ve stayed in awesome places and have made some wonderful friends! I wouldn’t trade the experiences that we’ve had for anything!

Another New Book

I just found a new book when I was on one of my frequent trips to Barnes and Noble. Did I mention that I love book stores and libraries? There is just something about the smell of books, old and new. They feel comfortable, comforting, something; fellow bookies will agree!

Don't get me wrong, I love my kindle, when I'm traveling, it's great. I have an entire library in one book-sized object. But when it's rainy or cold or both, a blanket and a real book are just the thing to create that warm, cozy feeling.

Okay, back to my bookstore trip, I found a book by Ian Caldwell and Dustin Thomason, The Rule of Four I found it because I was actually interested in Ian Caldwell's newest book, The Fifth Gospel; which, as it happened was out of stock.

I started reading it late last night. It's well written, but at 3 am, I had to give in to drooping eyelids. I'm not finished with it and have refrained from reading more today. I like to savor a good book, sort of like a glass of fine wine!

I haven't forgotten the The Book of Jubilees , I was just in the mood for something a little lighter. I will get back to it, I promise!

If you loved, The Da Vinci Code , pick this one up. You will love it too. It's about friends solving the mysteries of the Hypnerotomachia Poliphili . So far it's fun, intriguing with a bit of mystery. I can't wait to finish it, or I can. It's that good, that I want it to last.

I ordered The Fifth Gospel and 12.21 , Dustin Thomason's other book today from Amazon. Thanks to Amazon Prime , they will be here on Friday. Well, back to my book, a glass of wine and a quiet evening. Good Night!


P.S...I didn't know what the Hypnerotomachia Poliphili  was, so I googled it. It woke up a few brain cells in the memory department and I do remember learning something about it somewhere in some classroom, but if you need a refresher as I did, feel free to jump to more info here...Hypnerotomachia Poliphili

Stuck

I'm stuck. I'm at an age where change is going to happen. My husband is nearing retirement. You think you've worked all these years and now you can enjoy the fruits of your labors. You have a little more than when you struggled as a young couple. The kids are grown. But then you figure out how much health insurance is going to cost and your hopes of traveling and retiring on time seem to be dashed on the rocks. It's ridiculous that men and women have to work beyond their retirement age to pay for health insurance.

We look at the real price of doctor visits and prescriptions, not to mention the tests that are bound to come up eventually, and it's damn scary. One can't live without health insurance, not very well anyway. The doctors and hospitals treat you with little respect when there is no insurance to back up the payment for their services. I understand that, but come on, we shouldn't have to work for our entire lives. Wasn't Social Security and that Retirement plan supposed to be enough to cover these costs? We were told so when we invested a large chunk of our paychecks into them over the years.

I've watched my father die, my husband's mother die, my mother is aging and having senior issues. I know that my time is limited, not only until death, but just feeling good enough to go do some of the things that are on my bucket list.

I love spending time with my husband. I want us to have years together, years that I don't have to share him with a job and raising a family. This is our time. I want all of it. So what do we do? I'm not afraid to have less material possessions. I don't need a fancy car or clothes, but I do need for our medical situations to be taken care of. Well, we're researching and thinking. We've got three years until he can retire. I plan to find some solution that will allow that to happen and so does he. It may be something crazy. Whatever it is, I'll share my findings here. If you have any thoughts of your own, dear reader, or suggestions, I would love to hear them!

Book Review, a work in progress.

I've been diligently reading my new book, From the Ashes of Angels: The Forbidden Legacy of a Fallen Race. It is well written and interesting. I cannot say that I agree with some of the author's suppositions, but I find his ideas intriguing. If he offered more support for his hypotheses instead of just stating them and expecting his readers to agree, his points would be more valid. To be fair, I have not completed the book and he may well offer more support as I progress through the book. I will continue to read and take notes. For now, this book has spawned much interest in the
The Book of Jubilees.

I've been reading through The Book of Jubilees as translated by Dr. A. Nyland. I find her explanation of language and how words have been misunderstood in the past as they were translated from Hebrew and Greek into English. I would like to put together a genealogy from the book to help understand how people are related.

I love her explanation of the word Adam and how the word translates as human. God created humans in His image, not just one man named Adam. Later in Genesis, there is a man named Adam with a wife named Eve, but humans did not all come from two people.  That makes so much more sense, genetically speaking anyway.

I will post more when I have more progress. It may be slow going as I wind my way through each book to compare what I find with the Bible and with the work of Andrew Collins. This topic has always held much fascination for me and I am grateful to Andrew Collins if I get no more from his book other than helping me find these new translations of The Book of Jubilees, Book of Jasher and Book of Enoch 1, 2, and 3.

Book Arrived!

I just received From the Ashes of Angels: The Forbidden Legacy of a Fallen Race. Studying the paranormal has always been a passion. Nephilim have been a major part of my research for the last ten years. I was happy to find this book to see another's view on the fallen angels and the nephilim.

Of course, I started reading it immediately; which, prompted the purchase of three other books that I have been wanting for awhile. So I ordered those too. I ordered Ancient Book Of Jasher , Complete Books of Enoch: 1 Enoch (First Book of Enoch), 2 Enoch (Secrets of Enoch), 3 Enoch (Hebrew Book of Enoch) , and The Book of Jubilees.

I plan to review all of these in coming posts. I can tell you this...fascinating reading, if a bit scary!